Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
