do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
