any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
