there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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