Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Randomize
