i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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