So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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