I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
you win again, gameday.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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