My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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