D3 body, D1 cock
Your face is a jimmy john
tonight lets celebrate not being married
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
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