final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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