3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
You can't motorboat a personality
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
