His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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