Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize