Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Randomize
