please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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