I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Drunk is a universal language darling
Randomize
