Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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