The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
