I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
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