I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
