We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
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