I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Randomize
