hell yes lets make some ravioli
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
