hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
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