I wish I could punch you in the face.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
