so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize