If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
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