Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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