I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
