i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
