Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
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