My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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