I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
