Whoa Z and x make the same sound
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
