I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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