I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
