he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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