I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Randomize
