Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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