The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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