Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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