3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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