i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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