Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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