i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Randomize
