i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
