Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
