He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
