Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
