I feel like abortions should bother me more
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize