Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
