I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize