i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
