I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
