I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
