I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Randomize
