i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Randomize
