well most of my day revolves around power hour
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
