He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
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