I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
