Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
