Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Randomize