apparently the secret to your success is patron
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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